So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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