Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
