So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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