Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
