dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
me + whiskey = a bad person
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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