I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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