people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I need to sanitize my soul.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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