I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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