I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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