Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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