It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
