I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize