that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
