It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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