i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
