Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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