***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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