i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
