Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
