The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
