Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
