if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
