is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
