why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
