no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
