TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
