i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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