And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
