I bet he comes in French.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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