but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize