My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
