But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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