I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
