it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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