No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i think im in europe. pls send help
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
