Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
