You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
