His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I still have a little drunk in my system
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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