Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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