The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
