we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
