Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize