booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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