bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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