I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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