If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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