Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
