also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
