Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
