yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My penis needs a shock collar
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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