Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
