They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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