She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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