I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
