Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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