Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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