You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
