I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
