White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
its not stalking. its research.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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