So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
