Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
