8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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