so explain again why im purple
no
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize