I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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