I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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