I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
