I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
